I want to make it clear that this website is not here to portray me as a better person than anyone else. i still have issues and character defects… i made this web site to show where my addiction took me in my life and that life can change and get better… 

working the 12 steps gives us a better perspective on life, and how to deal with it…  that is what its all about, just cause we work the 12 steps does not mean we will be all well and wonderful. but through doing the foot work we start seeing the changes we are making and so do the people around us…  It is then that we start filling more confident in ourselves and in what we are trying to do… narcotics anonymous is a simple program, yes. But to stay clean we must work hard for this, and it is worth every second of it…  We are promised freedom from active addiction, only if we work hard for it and really want it… No where in our readings does it say we will recover, because we will always be recovering… When we stop recovering, we stop working our program and without a program we have nothing left…

Keep coming back… and if you just decide to stay, that is even better. very few addicts will make it back, jails, institutions, and death, thats our destiny if we stray away from the program…

In my addiction I always wanted the love and structure that most get from family. im sure it was being offered to me, but all i ever cared about was getting my next fix….

Today I have that love and so much more… last night i chaired a meeting that was loseing support fast, when it looked like only a very few people were gonna show up, they just started pouring in. We filled that room and i realized I have so much love for my brothers and sisters in recovery, since I have been in recovery i have built a new family, a family that stands beside me and has unconditional love for me, regaurdless if it was someone i just met or someone who has been walking this journey with me from the start… But people showed up to support me and let me know that they love me…

Family comes in all forms, my blood family who i have never had such an amazing relationship with as i do now, or my (soul) family who are my friends that are always in my heart and mind… i love you all…

This program has givin me a new way of life as promised from the beginning, in our basic text of narcotics anonymous, it sais,” any addict who thougholy walk our path has never relapsed, it is not till we started getting complaicent that relapse happens…

my wife and kids…

throughout 2009 i have had so many blessings put in my life…. 1st, in march, my daughter jessica came home to me from cps, my wife had a chance to be back in her 2 oldest sons life with visits to stockton to see her family,we moved into a beautiful house, and on wednesday, dec, 23rd, my cps case was closed…  to top it off , on monday dec.27th, we had a chance to have my wifes boys, my stepsons come stay with us at our home for a whole week… These are just some of the blessings that we have had put in our lives because of recovery and the programs that we work…